When the baby is born, it is no longer part of the mother, although many mothers do not feel that way

After several months of pregnancy, months of waiting, expectations and preparations comes the day the baby is born. That day the father and his son meet for the first time and start from scratch to share their lives. That day, however, Mom greets who has been a part of herself throughout pregnancy and then begins their lives separately.

The baby stop being part of mom, but mom keeps feeling it as part of herself. Well, in reality it does not always happen, there are many cases in which this feeling does not occur, perhaps because the woman simply does not feel it, perhaps as a result of an early separation at birth. The fact is that many mothers do live that way and it seems a perfectly logical and valid feeling.

What will i know

I am writing these words, as if I were an expert in this to bring children into the world and understand what a woman feels as a mother and I can only say "What will I know about all this, that I have neither gestated, nor have I given birth, nor will I do never either. " I do not speak from my own experience, but I speak from what I have seen, from what I have heard and read and from what I think I would feel if I were a mother.

From the moment the woman knows she is pregnant, she begins to create a special bond with what her new baby will be. A life grows inside and will soon begin to notice the changes. There are women who enjoy the pregnancy stage so much that they even miss their tummy when the baby is already born. That baby will be your son or daughter and is part of it. It grows from her. It's her.

He feels that way, as his own, because he has to feel that way. You have to love your baby so that on the day he is born he feels the desire and the need to take care of him. Yes, that today we do it in a rational way, that which tells us that he is our son and therefore we must take care of him and feed him, but it is also true that there are parents who do not live the same, with the same desire or feeling of responsibility and, in such cases, any factor of nature that can cause a mother to care for her or her baby will always be welcome by the baby.

Feel the baby as a part of itself

I have talked about this before. Many mothers feel bad, very bad, when others catch their babies. They feel bad because they still feel the baby as if they were themselves. They feel violent, as if someone took possession of a part of their body, as if they were deprived of their intimacy, as if they were torn off a member, as if they rummaged through their land without permission.

I have often read that a woman should avoid feeling this way, that she should fight against that feeling because the sooner she gets over it, the sooner she will begin to accept the baby as a person and the sooner she can grow autonomously and individually. But I do not agree. Of course, a mother has to understand that at birth the baby stops being herself, but one thing is the rational and another emotional. She knows it's not her, but she feels it as part of herself. Y Not only is it normal, but I think it is beneficial for both.

The baby grows inside, joined by the cord. It is born, it is put on its chest, still united by the same cord that a couple of minutes later is cut. Mother and baby separate, but still together, skin to skin. This link is not broken, it should not be broken, because in this way the union will be stronger and she will protect you from wind and tide.

She will want to protect you from all evils and, as I say, this is beneficial for a very logical reason: the baby is born completely helpless. The only thing you can do to survive is to cry, and crying alone, crying without being taken care of, would lead to death. Crying is his only weapon and it only serves to provoke a reaction in another person.

His mother, his father, his caregiver. It cries and the consequence must be an action that tries to mitigate and calm that restlessness. What is the use of a burglar alarm in a city of the deaf? What good is crying for help when you're alone on the mountain? As a baby without a caregiver involved has an obvious problem. That is why the baby that has just been born comes into the world as a new person but, for a while, it's still mom.

It is likely that many mothers now understand that feeling they had with their baby, that discomfort to see him in the arms of others, that overturn that gave his heart to separate from him. What is missing now is that this is understood by others, those who come to the house of a newborn baby and ask you to wake them up to see him, those who "steal" him from his mother's arms, those who call him "woman, don't protect him so much or you will do a spoiled accustomed to the arms. "

No hurry. The day will come when the baby will learn new tools to function only in life, crying will not be his only way of communicating and will gradually become autonomous. That little by little is the one that will tell the mother, then yes, that the baby is not mom, who is he or she and who will grow to be himself.