We started yesterday our interview with teacher Irene Álvarez about nurseries and alternatives to them. We continue today talking about how kindergartens and nursery schools would be really respectful of the little ones.
There are some projects that have a philosophy of learning more free and respectful of the needs of children, what do you think about them?
In this sense, there are more and more projects that go out of the norm, that look for another way to educate and to present to the children the school. The so-called free schools are educational projects that seek another educational model, another way of doing and there are more and more centers in more places in Spain. From my point of view they offer a valid and wonderful alternative to the traditional school. The only problem is that they are not regulated by the administration, which means that the child is listed as out of school even if he goes to that school. This is not a problem for me, but it is good for families to know that these types of alternatives have nothing to do with schools and traditional curricula.
Once we have decided to use a nursery or nursery school, how can we help our children to adapt optimally?
Respecting. It is essential to respect the child.
For anything we are going to do with him we should respect him and if it is also about leaving him in a nursery or someone's care we must talk to him, explain the situation he will live and give him space to adapt.
What do you mean by "give space"?
When I say "give space" I mean in time to adapt, not to force him to go to the nursery every day if it is not necessary, to do things gradually, slowly ... I mean let him express it if he does not Like, to tell us what happens to you can freely express that you are not comfortable.
And if it is not possible to give as much time as the precise child?
Giving love Love is a wonderful balm that heals all wounds, or almost all.
If our son feels loved, he feels that we do not "abandon" him in the nursery but that it is a place where he will have fun, do new and fun things and do not feel our rejection but that we align ourselves with the professionals of the center, surely the adaptation will be much less traumatic.
What alternatives do families really have to reconcile respecting the needs of children?
Few, very few, really. The working life to which we are subjected forces us to leave babies in nurseries at five months or before, to pick them up in some cases at more than five in the afternoon and almost not be able to spend with them more than a day or a day and a half a week full time. So, we have to rethink, to reconsider, to rethink what we want for our family and we, what we need to make the situation as bad as possible for the child and the family.
And in practical terms, where can we go to improve conciliation and give the child more humane care?
One of the best alternatives is to have the support of the tribe. As the proverb says "to educate you need the entire tribe" and yes, to raise too.
Having grandparents, uncles, cousins or even neighbors or family members who support our presence when we cannot be is, of course, a good alternative to daycare and will foster bonds of union between the baby and his immediate family environment. Let's not forget that the first agents of socialization (that worries parents so much that they think they have to take their children to school to do so) are the parents and the family environment. So why not go to them?
And if we don't have "tribe"?
If we cannot, if we have a partner, it is important that you also get involved in what you can. Maybe we can renegotiate schedules and have one work in the morning and another in the afternoon so we can always have our child with one of us. If we can't count on anyone and we have to manage, offer our son as much time as we can with him, be "present" when we are doing activities, games or whatever we do with him, he will give the vision that, although we are not all the time, when we are together, the time is only yours and that will mitigate at least in part, our lack during the day.
What would be the minimum age to leave a child in the care of others ideally?
From my point of view, around two or three years is a good age. I say two or three because although it is a very wide range, children also have a very different development at these ages. There are children who with two years are already prepared and manifest it that way and there are children who are not.
Should we ask the children for opinion?
Sure. The important thing here is to take the child into account, to ask him whether or not he wants to go to the nursery or with the grandparents or the babysitter. If we have no choice but to leave it because an unexpected event has arisen, it will be a punctual situation that, although the child may have a bad time, we know that it will be temporary but, if we are going to make the decision to leave it to the care of another, it is important to know what the opinion is child, what do you think (of course you can answer because you are already a certain age) stay in the care of another person and see if you are prepared or not. In my particular case with my daughter we were doing it gradually, rarely when I was very young and we had some unforeseen event (when something came up and my dad was working and could not take care of it) and later we have left it with the grandmother. to go to the movies or a full afternoon because we had something to do but in general he always stays with his father if I'm not.
We finish for today this interview with teacher Irene Álvarez, to which we remind you that you can know better on their page Educating in Positive. Tomorrow we will end talking about others alternatives to kindergarten, especially from the caregivers and mothers by day.
