A few days ago we showed how families who collect with their children prepare their rooms. Some readers were interested in the logistics at bedtime and that's why I write this entry.
I can't speak for all the mothers and fathers who collect, because each family will do things in a concrete way, that's why this is simply a Personal on-board diary in which I explain how it is done in my case (and in my house).
The guy with only one son
Before being four, we were three (a great phrase, no doubt), and the family operation was different from the current one, so I explain first how we worked when we were three.
During the first months Jon slept in the bassinet and only went to bed to breastfeed when he woke up at night. Once he fell asleep, we went back to the bassinet.
The awakenings were several, so after a few nights the ability to be attentive after a shot to put it back in the bassinet was decreasing to the point that sometimes he spent several hours in bed with us: “I have fallen asleep and He has been in bed for many hours, this cannot be! ”, we told ourselves.
However, we soon realized that when he stayed in bed he slept longer that when we passed it to the bassinet, so, doing what no one advised us, acting as rookie “sinful” parents, Jon began sleeping in our bed and the bassinet was forgotten.
We soon discovered that that so negative for our son's mental health (they told us) was called colecho and that there was a lot of authors' literature that belied the harmful effects of this practice and that even positioned themselves in favor (literature written by the AEP Breastfeeding Committee, pediatrician Carlos González and Unicef, among others, almost nothing).
During the first year Jon went to sleep at 7:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. It was the time he said "I have arrived here" and asked to sleep until the next day.
This means that Miriam was sleeping with him at that time, TV remote in hand, while I was still in charge of the home.
Many women who collect get up once the child has fallen asleep, continue to do things and then go back to bed, however, Miriam did not. Jon's dream was not as deep as one would expect and it was easy to wake up, so she stayed with him just in case and while she slept she had dinner in bed.
After the first year, the urgent need to sleep at seven in the afternoon was dilated and, until the arrival of Aran, we were all going to sleep at the same time.
We had dinner, we picked up the dinner pots, we left the house tidy and we were going to sleep all three in bed at about 10:00 p.m. (half an hour up, half an hour down).
In the morning I woke up before (and I still do) and gave a review of the house with the mop and the duster. Thus, during the day you can go washer and dryer and you can keep keeping the order a little (but of course, Miriam stopped working to take care of the children and, being at home, can do things).
Now that we are four
Aran arrived a year ago and our routine changed. In order not to be very different from his brother, he has had the same dream pattern so far as Jon, wanting (needing) to go to sleep at about 7:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m., however now they are two and it is not the same to sleep with one quietly than to sleep with one leaving a three-year-old child at home.
I arrive from work, the afternoons I work, because some days I do it tomorrow, at 20:10 - 20:30, so Miriam managed to postpone Aran's dream a little until this time.
Now Aran can sleep a little later, although in any case it is always before Jon and I have finished dinner and pick up.
So, now Miriam and Aran go to bed together at about 20: 30-21: 00. For this she has had dinner first and then Jon and I do it. We have dinner, pick up the kitchen and whatever it takes and at about 9:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. he and I go to bed where Aran sleeps and mom watches TV at low volume. We lay down, turned off the TV, Dad caresses Jon in the face and hair and goes to sleep!
And our conversations?
As soon as Jon falls asleep (there are days that in 5 minutes, there are days that take more than an hour if he has slept during the day), she and I talk for a while and, if there is anything left of the house to do (clothes to fold , I haven't had time to pick up the kitchen because Jon was very sleepy, etc.), I get up and just pick up what is left.
Lately, since I don't have much time during the day, I take that time to write a little on Babies and more while Miriam stays in bed with the children.
And our privacy?
Many people wonder how you can have privacy when you have been sleeping with children in bed for almost four years.
I will not explain much, that is what our intimacies are for, but with a little imagination everything is solved.
We are clear that this is a stage and that, when they sleep in another room, we will recover the “big” bed for ourselves. Until then, we do not change the one for the other.
Photos | Flickr (Karen Sheets), Flickr (khrawlings), Flickr (iandeth)
In Babies and more | How families who collect it are riding, Being a dad: reflections on the school, Different ways of practicing the school
