In recent weeks I have shared some articles about time for mom. I have told you why it is important to have it and what we can do to find a time for us within our busy mothers schedule.
Something that caught my attention were the comments on social networks when sharing these articles, in which some women said they had no right to that time alone Y others said they felt bad for wanting to be away from their children a while.
So today I want to talk a little about the guilt that mothers feel, why it is hard for us to understand that it is valid to have time to pamper ourselves and share some reasons why we shouldn't feel bad mothers for wishing time for us.
Why do mothers feel guilt?
Something I find very curious about motherhood is the fact that at some point most mothers feel guilty about something, but nobody usually mentions that it comes within the package of "maternal feelings" that arrives with the children.
And why do mothers feel guilt? For many different reasons. Some because we return to work and feel bad about leaving our children. Others because there are days when we feel that we cannot do more and we would like to have a vacation of everything and everyone. Some more we feel guilty for not acting as the dream mother we would like to be.
Guilt is present in motherhood in different ways and at different stages of our life as mothers. And is that Everybody tells you that being a mother is the best thing in the world, but few tell you that it can also become extremely difficult..
What does guilt have to do with wishing to be alone?
I think much of the feeling of guilt that mothers feel comes from social pressure or the idealization of motherhood. Somehow, we expect mothers to always be in a good mood or full of energy to care for and care for our children. Even when we become mothers, we assume our role by dedicating ourselves body and soul to their care. How not to do it? It is our responsibility and we do it with the immense love that mothers usually have.
But just thinking that motherhood is always rosy and that we should feel full all the time, makes it hard for us to understand that it is valid to have that space to pamper ourselves or do what we like. Somehow we feel that we are failing or that we are not doing "good" things because we want a break, a time, a moment to rest and disconnect from everything.
The reality is that motherhood is usually very demanding and with very long days. We already mentioned in another article where we talked about the 98 hours a week that mothers work on average. It is a constant work in which we do not stop from dawn until we fall surrendered at night. And as such, there comes a point where we feel tired, exhausted and even perhaps, a little tired of running from one place to another without stopping.
Everyone tells us how we can be a better mother, but nobody tells us that It is valid to feel tired and wish to be alone for a moment, without hearing or seeing anyone else. So if one day you feel that you cannot do more and need a rest, do not feel bad. You are human, not robot.
Reasons why we shouldn't feel guilty about wanting our time
Something I like to keep in mind when I'm having a bad day, is that so that our children are well, mothers must also be. By feeling rested and happy we can better exercise our role. So instead of feeling bad about wanting to have your "time for mom," I share why wishing time alone shouldn't be a reason to feel guilty.
Because it helps us to be better mothers
Having time and space for us, we not only pamper ourselves, but also release all that stress or pressure that we have accumulated. Think about the satisfaction of doing something you like. You immediately feel better, happier, lighter, more positive. That feeling of happiness is the same that you transmit to your children and being happier with yourself, you tend to be more patient and less reactive.
Because it is good for our health
Has it happened to you that you are the only one at home who gets sick and continues his life as if nothing happened? Sometimes, being so worried about the well-being of our family, we can forget a little about ourselves. We are so focused on that, we don't realize how much we are neglecting our health until our body cries out for a break.
Taking a bath or a nap works wonders for us and for our health. Having time for you may be just what your body needs. The remedy for that back and headache or that feeling of fatigue, can be as simple as stopping to take a break of 30 minutes a day.
Because it is self-love, not selfishness
I have had to find comments from mothers who, in addition to guilt, feel selfish for wanting to do something for them without their children. But let's not forget that before we are mothers we are women, and the woman does not disappear just because the children are born. To nurture, care for and pamper ourselves is self-esteem, is to work on our self-esteem and love each other very much.
It is true that motherhood is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to us in life, that experience makes our hearts overflow with happiness and brings us joys that we never thought we had. But it is also exhausting and from time to time, we need a moment alone, not to forget who we are. So enjoy that time for yourself, without guilt and with the illusion that at the end of that pause for us, we will continue spending more time with our children.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Self-esteem for recent mothers: love yourself a lot! Seven ideas to have that deserved time for mom today
