They say that although there is a mother's day and a father's day, they are all mother's days and father's days, because it is from when the baby is born (and even before) until the last of his days, although his functions change as your children grow up.
This is precisely what I want to talk about today, why we should take advantage when they are little to give them all our love, our example and our love: there will come a day when they will fly, and that day you will not be able to fly by them.
That day I will have to fly alone
It is unavoidable. There comes a time when boys and girls begin to leave the shelter of home, dependence and limits (at least some of them), and the world makes its way before our eyes. Your adult world, the world in which you live and that you have all created so that we may also live in it.
Saying so is a little scary, right? Logical. Surely you have struggled a lot to change it, but it is impossible ... all the fathers and mothers of the world should agree and go at one, and fight for a real reconciliation, for a society in which the children were the most important, and not second-class citizens like now (remember that we are the future), and that will not happen. That is why it is often said that if you can't change the world, at least change yourself, so that your family and your children are part of that change.
Well, that's what this message is, in telling you that the most important thing is not that you spend energy in changing a world that you won't be able to change, but that you do it in making us, your children, your legacy, good people. He says a well-known phrase: "Don't worry about the world you leave your children, worry about the children you leave this world."
And how? Well considering that there are not many years you have to do it. Maybe it's 12, maybe 13 or 14, but there will come a day when I will finally go out to discover everything; I will beat my wings, I will fall on more than one occasion, and my desire to try again, my security in it, and many other decisions will depend largely on what I have learned at home, on what you have transmitted to me.
And since that age, what should remain is the trust. Of course you can still teach me a lot of things. I will still look at your way of fixing things, dealing with conflicts and finding solutions, but by then my direct environment will have expanded. You will be, my parents, but my friends and my friends will also be there, each with their dreams, their concerns, their joys and their sorrows, all different: some wanting to be the best, others wanting to go unnoticed, others looking Be the most popular and others the most rebellious.
I will join them all, and I will have to find my place in that group and start making important decisions. Or at least they will be for me. The choice of what I want for breakfast or what shirt suits me best will go to the background, obviously, before the dilemma of leaving with the group of the most responsible, the group of those who look like good people, but look like geeks, group of the anti-systems that only seek freedom and live to the fullest, the group of ... or simply decide not to pigeonhole in any of them and choose to get along with everyone, if that is possible.
I will have to choose what to study, assess what I like best, discover how to communicate with the girl or boy that I start to like, decide if I have a better smile or a cigarette in my mouth and if it will be better to try to have fun with a soda, with a beer or with that bottle of liquor that someone will have gotten out of the norms.
Do I get on that car or I don't? We just met! Adventure or irresponsibility?
Will they respect me more if I do that madness that they tell me I have to do to be part of their group? It seems funny, why not? Because if?
I will also have to decide whether to put myself on the side of the oppressed or the oppressor, or on the side of the abused or the abuser, because let's not fool ourselves, there are still teenagers with so many problems of self-esteem, that they try to solve it by destroying the lives of others.
Will I discover that you have been preparing me for a horrible world, and will I thank you for helping me to be critical and firm in my convictions?
Or will I realize that you barely helped me to be autonomous, emotionally speaking, because you always knew what was best for me? I may not be able to make my own decisions now because you never let me make them.
Or maybe you gave me so much freedom that now I am not sure what is right and what is not? Or was it not freedom and was permissiveness? So many years letting me dominate your world and now I realize that I don't dominate anything, really. I am nobody outside the home. Why?
Where do I want to arrive?
Surely you will be wondering what this is all about, that if you get to know it, you don't even read it. Well, that's what I say at the beginning. That all are the days of the mother, as all are the days of the father, and all are the days of the son and daughter.
What you do today, how you act tomorrow, what your way of being, acting and educating is every day, week, month and year, will depend largely how will I be, your son, when all those moments come. They will not arrive the same day, of course ... it will be something progressive. But at that point, there will be many things that you will never find out, or that you will discover too late. That's why what is left in the end is, as I say, the trust. You will no longer have control, and that is very scary. The confidence must remain that on the day I fly I will be able to value my wings, to discover with responsibility my abilities, my limitations and my possibilities, and to choose the path well, although I am often mistaken.
You are my example, always keep that in mind. You're a hug when I need it, never forget it. You are that heart that opens to tell me how you feel, when you suffer and cry, so that I learn that pain also exists, and that good things can be taken from it, such as solutions or desire to refloat, and that when it is not possible, At least you can learn to live with it.
You are all those things, and many more, and for that I thank you infinitely. Because every time you treat me with respect, with love, every time you bite your lips so as not to yell at me and find another solution to explain what I could have done better, are you teaching me how should I act with others, and how should I treat them. When you tell me, I'm so angry! And you tell me and in the end I understand you, I am discovering those emotions that I sometimes feel and do not know how to name: anger, anger, the desire to avenge ... and with your way of acting you teach me that there is another way to channel that anger .
And when we play, and when you laugh and make me laugh, and when you leave what you were doing to help me a moment so that I can continue, when your eyes shine when you look at me ... When you are my mother, my mother, and I look at you with pride , and I want to shout at everyone that "Hey, it's my mom!"
I just wanted to tell you that. That the bad thing you are having now, the hard thing that is being done to you sometimes, has a reason: there are many worries, many hours wondering how to do better, many hours without sleep just trying to make me comfortable , without tears. And then the constant search for information to take care of myself in the best possible way. And all those hours you dedicate to teach me so many things, and teach me to live, to communicate, to be.
Everything you do now It will help me get to that time, on the day of my first flight, with more confidence, values, principles, self-esteem and self-confidence. So thanks Mom. Keep it up. Keep going. Thanks for everything.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | 27 things children should know at age 12 (and better know them for you), 27 teachings for your daughter to become a strong and happy woman, A letter for Mother's Day: "Thank you for being as you are (from imperfect) "
